we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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