so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I will pee on everything he values.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
