i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
