that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
