wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Send help, water and tortillas.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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