In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
