what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
