win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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