She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
