did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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