oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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