i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
