Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
