I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i think im in europe. pls send help
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
