There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
