Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
