I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
