You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
