What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
