Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
