Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
