who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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