Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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