I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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