He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
