You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
