I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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