Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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