Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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