Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
