you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
