well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
