in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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