I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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