I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
