Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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