well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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