He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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