All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
