You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
