for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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