The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
