yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't think brook has ever known best
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
