That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
