I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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