You're a womanizer and a bitch.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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