That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
