The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
