He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
