i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
