It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
