I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Congratulations! We have a period
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
