Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
