is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
