Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
