ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Randomize
