I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
