Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i need some magic done to my vagina
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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