No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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