My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Randomize
