We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
