3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
