she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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