K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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